A Lifetime of Hope
by Sinfonian Legend
Summary: Out of all the years of pursuing Akane, Junpei almost succeeded once, and it completely changed his life around after the Nonary Game. (Post-999/Pre-VLR to Post-VLR, obvious spoilers for both.)


**A/N: This is just a little 2-shot in honor of 999 week (That I was late for...) This first part is post 999/ pre-VLR, but the second will be post-VLR. **

Junpei had almost given up hope this time.

He had made it through the memory-scarring Nonary Game that left him with nightmares often. At first it had been every night, but as time had gone on, it had minimized to a weekly occurrence.

That didn't lessen the impact of the corpses, terror, and pain, of course. Yet this frustrating endeavor crushed his spirits in a way the Nonary Game had no chance of competing with.

Akane. _Kanny._

On the positive side, Junpei thought to himself as he ran, he had gotten to see all parts of the world. From the most remote regions of Africa, to the mountains of Tibet, the green of Wales, both the enormous cities and countryside towns of America, and even the tropical islands in the Gulf of Mexico, Junpei had tailed Akane and Aoi and their organization Crash Keys to the very ends of the Earth. This time, though, they were somewhere Junpei never thought they would ever go.

Home. Back to their hometown in Japan where they had all grown up. As he ran past block after block, recalling familiar streets and shops as his guide as well as a small slip of paper with a hastily scribbled address listed, he felt his heart soar with the thrill of running at top speed down the barren streets. Every attempt to track them down before had ended in failure. But this time, just this time, perhaps his sources had gotten the address to him fast enough…

_There._ Up ahead was a dark foreboding warehouse, illuminated by a distant streetlight. Not a single soul was out in the muggy darkness, and so thick was the air, one could reach out and touch it like a solid entity. His heartbeat was fast when he threw the barn-like doors open with a heave of effort, and he stopped dead.

"Kanny!"

His raggedly panting voice projected over the equipment inside. Various machinery lay dormant, fit so that the building contained each with utmost efficiency. With a flick of a finger, Junpei's flashlight was brightly lit up. The interior of the building was dark, but a few papers scattered the concrete ground. Junpei leaned over to pick one up. "CRASH KEYS – BQZ-RGJ-DXR," He read to himself, knowing that once again, he had just missed them. Something dropped through the pit of his stomach, like the g-force of a rollercoaster taking a sudden drop. _Again._ He had gotten his hopes up for nothing. Junpei had to consciously uncurl the fists his hands had balled into, letting out a slow sigh as he did.

Yet he felt like something was different this time.

Thanks to his time playing the Nonary Game, he had always noticed things peculiarly out of place. It was one of the very few things good that came out of that Hell. Something was triggering that sense in the back of his mind.

The papers on the ground finally made him realize what it was. All the pages littering the ground were printed off a computer except a single sheet of torn notebook paper. It still had the jagged piece on the side that anchored the page to a simple metal ring notebook. Anticipation coursed through him as he picked up the page and turned it over. His eyes shot up in shock as he read the first word.

_"Jumpy,_

_ I'm sorry. More than you can even understand right now. For dragging you into this, for causing you this wild goose chase, for escaping with my brother and leaving you in the incinerator, for everything. You understand, don't you? I didn't have a choice. I would have died otherwise. I had to faithfully recreate everything I saw through your eyes. I had to become a monster. _

**_It's_**_**terrifying.**__ The more things I did to put that Game together, the harder it was to remember how to be me again. Sometimes this sense of vengeance drove me to do those horrible things…to Kubota, Nijisaki, Musashidou, and Hongou. Yes they did do things they are to never be forgiven for; yes they are evil people but…I feel so terrible sometimes about it. Such a fate that befell them… a fate that befell all of you. If it were my choice, I would have never put Clover through the misery of having the one closest to her missing or dead in a game for hours. If it were my choice, Seven wouldn't have been amnesiac and able to tell you what happened and why the Nonary Game had to take place. If it were my choice, Lotus wouldn't have been put through the very situation her daughters were forced through with no notice…I wake up in the middle of the night screaming a name, sometimes it's yours, sometimes it's Aoi's, sometimes it's Light, or Clover, or Seven, or Lotus. Every night. You know I have the ability to see across time. But did you know how many scenarios I had to go through to find the one that worked, the True path where casualties were minimized? I don't even remember, Jumpy, is that sad? I feel like I'm going to lose myself in it all. That I'll become so desensitized to death and blood and gore and all the morbid things that I won't care anymore. __**That I won't be human.**_

_ Did you know that the time I physically spent with you in the Nonary Game is the first time I had felt like myself in years? I had spiraled further __**in**__ darkness, but I had a lucid moment with you, and it was wonderful. If I have one bright spot in my life…it's the time I've spent with you. But… Aoi and I worked tirelessly to fix up the Nevada test site. And I'm sad to say it, but I have another project I have to pursue immediately; one that bars me from ever seeing you again for a very long time. It's not about me this time. It's about the world. But you'll understand later, I promise._

_ Please, __**4**__ your own sake, stop chasing me. Live your own life. As much as I want it, as much as you may want it too, it can't happen. We can't settle down and live a normal life together and get married in __**5 **__or so __**years,**__ get professional jobs, have kids, watch them grow up, and grow old together. There's another reality where that can happen but…this is the reality I'm living in. This is what really affects me. I'm sorry. If it were anything else, Jumpy, I would choose you over it in a heartbeat but…if I don't do anything….it's just not an option. As much as it hurts you to hear it, it hurts me just as much to say it. _

_ I've already said too much in this letter. If Aoi found out I had written this, I would never hear the end of how much "I've jeopardized everything". But…I don't care. I'm not stupid, I know you've been following my organization around, trying to track me down. For your sake, __**please**__, and for mine too. Stop. I….I'm going to be going somewhere you can't follow me, okay? But someday…I will see you again. For better or worse. Just maybe…could you promise me something? __I need your __**help**__ that if….__No, it's stupid, never mind. But…don't forget me. It's a lot to ask of you I know, but… There isn't anyone that truly will besides you. The time we've spent together is priceless to __**me**__. It's the one thing I have that I will never give up. When I'm gone, you'll be the only one left that can nostalgically recall those moments... but this has dragged on long enough. Goodbye Junpei. There may be one last thing or two I can do for you here or there but, you won't see me again for a …very, very long time. Take care…alright?_

_Akane Kurashiki_

_-Kanny_

Junpei didn't notice the tears in his eyes until they hit the margins of the page. He swallowed, and then blinked rapidly to dispel the overemotional response.

He had almost calmed down until he noticed the circular distortions on the page. She had cried writing this, too. Junpei collapsed to his knees with a small-sounding cry. His head was swimming in the bittersweet response his mind was giving him. On one hand he was ecstatic that she had written to him, talked to him one last time. On the other, every hope he had of her was blasted into dust on the wind.

"This doesn't make sense," he whispered, looking it over again. It was then he noticed how she had carefully etched over certain words with her writing pen enough to make them stand out in comparison to the rest. His heart shattered from pain upon rereading the scratched out words.

** "It's terrifying that in 45 years I won't be human. Please help me."**

She wasn't the monster that Lotus and Seven and Clover and Light and Ace…Hongou…had made her out to be. She did care for all of them, and she regretted all the pain she caused to save her own life. She sounded scared, terrified even, of the future awaiting her.

And he could do nothing to help or comfort her.

As to where she was going, Junpei just couldn't figure it out. It almost sounded like she was going…to die. But he refused to even consider that she would commit suicide. But if her hidden message meant anything, it seemed as if there was something he could do. Not that he knew what he could do for her since he couldn't follow her without causing more pain for the both of them but…

Shakily, he stood up. Junpei carefully folded the note into a square and placed it in his pocket before leaving the building and leaving it almost exactly as it was. His walk back was slow; numb almost. At some point, everything had faded to black, since he awoke on the sidewalk being prodded by a concerned former neighbor. After reassuring the kind old woman he was fine and had just passed out from heat and exhaustion, Junpei hobbled back to his car and sat in the front seat a moment, motionless.

Akane had told him to live his own life. Up until very recently, he would have been able to do that almost happily trying to trudge through college. But after she had come back into his life, it had been harder to continue without wanting to know where she was. But she wanted him to go on without her, but not quite forget her. Hold a kind of respect for her, but otherwise neglect that she even existed.

He didn't understand everything she said in that letter, aside from that she meant every word and poured her heart out to him. But he would. After all, knowing if Akane said something would happen, that would mean it does, right….?

Junpei sighed and turned the ignition. He wasn't really paying attention to where he was going, just that he was going somewhere. Hours must have passed, but he went on, listening to the radio and mindlessly going forward.

That is, until he arrived at a little café with a small crowd gathered around the front. There was a small parking area that he was able to pull into, before rushing out of his car and over through the crowd. The man in the center, instrument in hand being carelessly but still musically plucked at, raised an eyebrow and a quirk of his mouth.

"Are you here to stay for a while, Junpei? You don't have anywhere you have to be immediately?" Junpei managed a small smile at that.

"Yeah…I'm here to stay for a fair bit." The door flew open and the next thing Junpei knew, he had crashed into Snake enveloped by a smaller body.

"You're actually here!" it said. More accurately, Clover said. "Come on in and stay awhile, I'll pour you a coffee!" The pink-haired girl smiled brightly as she pushed Junpei through the door chattering away. Light's head followed them away using the sound of the bell on the door as if he could see them scurry away.

He sat and played in front of the café all afternoon. Junpei walked out with Clover around closing time, laughing and smiling. Hearing her voice, the blind man packed away his harp and fell in behind the two with a relaxed smile. Things were certainly going to become a lot more interesting for a while around their little business.

**A/N: Thanks for reading! I know I'm late on 72 Hours Remains, but I needed to write something 999 for a very long time. I'm not entirely happy with it, but some parts seemed to come out okay...give me your thoughts! And stay tuned for part two should you decide to read it when it's up!**

**-Legend**


End file.
